


love is like a bendy straw

by Managarmr



Category: Granblue Fantasy (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol Usage, Denial of Feelings, Drunkenness, Intercrural Sex, M/M, Non-Penetrative Sex, Not Actually Unrequited Love, but you didn't hear it from me, less denial of feelings more brooding, there may be some slight uniform AND ear kink, yes i'm one of those erune ears are sensitive pervs sue me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2019-06-23
Packaged: 2020-03-27 15:37:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19015834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Managarmr/pseuds/Managarmr
Summary: Seox picks up a side job as a waiter at Raduga. Ladiva being a self-proclaimed Love Guru isn’t just for show. Seofon is...Seofon.





	1. Chapter 1

It had been about a month or so since Seox’s first visit to Raduga, and in that time he’d become something of a regular patron. He typically volunteered for night watches on the Grandcypher, even at the captain’s insistence that he just draw lots like everyone else, so he had a lot of free time at night that he had decided was best spent in the warm atmosphere of the subgalley.

His excuse for so many night shifts was that he had trouble sleeping most nights anyways, and that it wasn’t any trouble. He had a feeling the captain knew the real reason, that while it was true that he didn’t sleep well, he also just had trouble allowing himself to socialize with the majority of the other crew members. While this didn’t bother him most of the time, it felt bad when the captain had gone to the trouble of inviting him to the Grandcypher in the first place, but he just couldn’t bring himself to engage with so many people at once. Socializing had never been his strong suit, it was part of why he had the mask, and while he had improved he was wary about being included as a regular part of the crew.

Night shifts weren’t all that bad though. While a fairly recent part of his nightly schedule, visiting Raduga was actually the highlight of most of his days on board. It was a good place to refuel and take his mind off of the thoughts that usually plagued his sleep, and both Ladiva’s cooking and the company of the other patrons were a bonus. While Ladiva usually tried to chime in and remedy the issues that people had, she seemed content to sit there with him in silence for which he was eternally grateful.

“Oh Seox!” Ladiva smiled over at him from behind the counter as Seox entered and took his usual seat. As he was just finishing up his shift, he was the last patron of the day.

“Ladiva,” he said simply, and nodded in her direction. She was alone today he realised belatedly, which was strange. Usually Jamil was around, either washing dishes in the back or wiping down the tables, but today there was no trace of him.

"Is Jamil not around?" Seox asked. They barely spoke, but Seox liked Jamil. After their initial circling around each other, both being assassins with similar backgrounds, they'd reached a mutual understanding and respect. It wouldn't be wrong for Seox to say he missed the boy’s company, even if he'd never admit to it out loud.

"He'll be away on a mission for the rest of the month," Ladiva said forlornly. "I'll miss him while he's gone, but I can't let it show too much or the others will worry. That's a secret between us ok?" She winked at him.

Seox felt fondness for Ladiva trickle into his chest at the fact that she was confiding in him.

"I could help out until his return," he said.

Ladiva looked surprised at the suggestion. It wasn’t unusual for Seox to help out around Raduga occasionally, but he was on the more antisocial side. Ladiva knew this. In retrospect though, it wasn't a bad idea. Seox didn't mind helping Ladiva out, and like this he could fulfill some sort of social quota. That would at least make him _feel_ like he was trying to fulfill the captain's wishes, even if he planned to ignore everyone that walked through the door.

"I appreciate the offer but I couldn't," Ladiva said. Seox noticed that as she said that she stopped to look around at the empty room with worry. It was probably unintentional, but there was no doubt that Ladiva probably needed the help.

"The captain didn't put you in charge of the subgalley to overwork yourself," Seox replied in an attempt to convince her, but that was about as far as he was going to push it. He wasn't the type to be stubborn. He left that sort of behaviour to people like Lyra or Seofon. Still, he felt that it was a convincing argument, and Ladiva wasn’t one to not see reason.

Ladiva stroked her chin thoughtfully. "You're not wrong about that...and the last thing I want is to make them worry."

Seox nodded in agreement and waited for her to continue.

"Alright Seox! You've convinced me!" Ladiva said. She smiled at him, looking rejuvenated. "Do I need to teach you how to cook as well?"

"It'd probably be best if I managed the other duties. It’s only for a month."

"Alright. I'll whip you up something quick and then get working on your uniform!"

Seox blinked, taken aback. Of course behind his mask, Ladiva didn't notice.

_Uniform?_

 

 

 

Raduga usually only achieved around a pleasant buzz in terms of noise level. A majority of the crew was still asleep after all, so the patrons made the effort to speak softly and not make too much noise. However, the night following Seox's hiring was completely different. For one thing, there was a lot of squealing. Mostly from Ladiva herself.

"Seox you look so cute!" she gushed. She circled him from all sides as he stood there in his new uniform. It was almost the exact same as Jamil's, the only differences being that it was grey instead of purple, and backless in the usual style of erune clothing.

Sig and Herja looked impressed as Seox stepped out from the back where he had changed. "It fits you!" Sig said. Herja nodded. Ladiva put her hands on her hips proudly.

The two women had arrived early and had been excited to find out that Raduga had a new hire for the month. It was… unexpected to say the least. Seox never thought he’d be the one to inspire any sort of excitement from anyone. It was something he didn’t really know how to deal with, the compliments even moreso.

His only saving grace was that his mask was still on his face, benevolently allowed to remain there by Ladiva. Otherwise, they would've seen him cycle through several shades of red due to his embarrassment. He had a feeling they were complimenting him to be encouraging, and not making fun of him, but either way he'd had enough.

Wordlessly he stalked off to behind the counter to get started on the work in the back.

His job for the majority of the night was just to wash dishes, which was completely fine with him. There was enough people for him to keep busy the whole night, and he found himself somewhat in awe at Ladiva's ability to tend to every patron with as much love and attention as she did. There wasn’t a single person that walked through the doors that she didn’t greet and cater to as if they were the closest friends in the world. Being able to socialize like that wasn’t a skill Seox possessed (nor really needed in his line of work), but it was impressive nonetheless.

It was an easygoing night overall, and with the exception of the one time Lyra and Vyrn stopped by for a late night snack and heckled him a bit, it passed mostly without incident.

“Thanks for your help tonight,” Ladiva said as she joined him in the back to finish cleaning.

“There’s no need to thank me,” Seox said in response but didn’t look up from the sink.

“That’s not true” she chuckled before continuing, “is there anything you’d like to eat before we close up?”

“Whatever’s easiest. I’ll have a non-alcoholic drink to go with it. That is, if you don’t mind."

"Of course not! I’ll put all my love into it," Ladiva said. She looked like she wanted to ask him something else. He bristled slightly.

"What is it?"

"Seox, is there any reason you don't drink alcohol? Of course if you'd rather not share that's fine."

His mask was still on, covering up the small hint of confusion on his face. Ladiva wasn't one to pry, he knew that by now, but it still caught him off guard when people were interested in him.

"I don't like feeling out of control," he said simply. Ladiva nodded.

"I knew it'd be something like that," she said, "you seem like the type after all."

"What does that mean?"

"It's a compliment," Ladiva said smiling. Seox decided to drop it. With that, they spent the rest of the night in silence while Ladiva happily watched Seox eat his food.

 

 

 

The next two nights passed in a similar manner, Seox mostly helping out in the kitchen while Ladiva cooked and chatted with her friends. It wasn't always easy work, Raduga was a fairly popular place among the nightowls on the ship, but it made Seox feel good to be able to help Ladiva out.

The fourth night was a bit different. By now Seox had more or less gotten used to working in the back, and he occasionally went out to the front to help there when things got busy. He still didn’t actively engage in any conversations with the other patrons, but that didn’t stop a few of them from talking to him.

"Seox could you come here for a bit?" he heard Ladiva say from out front. When he walked outside he was met with a somewhat frantic Ladiva.

"Can you help me with serving? It's a bit busier today than the usual, but you just need to stay behind the bar and serve from there."

"Sure."

As Seox took a spot behind the counter, he was met with a bunch of familiar faces.

Both Sig and Herja were here, this time with Lamretta in tow, although she was already asleep as was the usual. Herja looked like she was deep in thought about something, which wasn’t too unusual. She usually came here when she had something on her mind. Seox had learned this the hard way when he’d had to sit through one of her small spiels about love.

“Looks like you got the hang of things pretty quickly huh?" Sig said when she spotted Seox.

"I suppose. It’s not hard work."

"Are you sure? Before you didn’t even know the right way to turn a placemat.”

“I still don’t get why it matters.”

Sig laughed. “I’m sure Ladiva appreciates it all the same. But let me not hold you up, we'll have the special for tonight,” she said, gesturing at herself and Herja.

“What about Lamretta?” Seox asked. The girl in question was still asleep, drooling on the counter with a bottle in an outstretched hand.

Sig poked Lamretta to check for any signs of movement. “I think she’s done for today.”

Seox nodded. However, before could write their order down, he was interrupted by the last person on the ship he had expected to run into.

"Oh hey! If it isn't Seox!"

It was Seofon. He walked over and sat himself right in front of Seox, smiling the entire time. The annoyance at his leader’s appearance didn’t even have time to register due the shock. It wasn’t like he hadn’t run into Seofon on the Grandcypher before since the both of them were part of the crew, but he was usually busy tending to other things as the Eternals’ leader. He very rarely travelled with the crew to begin with. Whenever he was on the ship, Seox also made it a point to lower their encounters to as few as possible.

"What are you doing here?" Seofon asked curiously.

"What does it look like I'm doing?"

Seofon chuckled. "Prickly as always."

Seox was grateful for his mask, otherwise there'd be nothing stopping him from glaring holes into Seofon's forehead. He decided to ignore the man instead, walking over to Ladiva and relaying the previous order.

When he turned back around, he saw that Seofon had been joined by Lyra and Vyrn. The three were happily chatting away about something Seox decided he wanted no part of, but alas, it was his job to ask them for their orders.

"Eat quickly and leave," Seox said to Seofon as he returned, and then to the other two, "what are your orders? Today’s special is spicy. You might want to try something else."

"Wait," Seofon said incredulously, "Isn't your treatment of me way too harsh?"

"No."

Lyra and Vyrn giggled.

"Working here looks like so much fun," Lyra said enviously as Seox handed them their drinks, "Ladiva says I'm too young to be staying up to help her." She pouted.

"Can't believe she let you work here with that creepy mask of yours," Vyrn said, and before Seox could stop him, he'd flown over the counter and swiped the mask right off of Seox's face. Seox flushed immediately.

"H-hey!" he said, voice raising in pitch. He made a grab for it, but Vyrn flew out of the way. It was hard for him to reach over and grab it from behind the counter, so Seox settled instead for covering his face with a hand instead, annoyed.

"Ugh," Seox whined, "G-give me my mask back."

"No way! You look more like a real waiter this way," Vyrn said, sounding smug.

Lyria nodded her head. "I agree! Don't you think so too Seofon?"

Seofon didn't seem to notice he'd been directly addressed. He was giving Seox an incredibly long once over, his eyes eventually resting on Seox's face. Seox frowned. He hated being stared at, and the action coming from Seofon especially was making him feel more nervous than he could deal with.

"Seofon?" Lyria repeated.

Seofon startled. "Yes?"

"Jeez what are you zoning out for?" Vyrn asked.

"It's nothing," Seofon said. He cleared his throat. "Just admiring Seox's uniform.” He looked up at Seox and smiled before continuing. “It suits you, although this doesn't mean you're leaving the Eternals or anything are ya?"

"Right now I'm considering it," Seox said quietly. He hated how shy he felt without his mask, so he fished around in his pocket for his eyepiece and put it on instead. He’d momentarily forgotten he’d had it, but now that at least part of his face was covered again he felt like he could relax more.

Vyrn booed. "Figures you'd have a spare."

"It pays to be prepared," Seox said, "now are you ordering or not?"

 

 

 

After an hour or so Lyra and Vyrn were eventually shooed off to bed by Ladiva. Seox had been busy dealing with other patrons and had missed the opportunity to talk with them more, but Vyrn had at least returned the mask to Seox. To Seox's surprise, his motion to put it back on was met with immediate displeasure from both Ladiva _and_ Seofon, who hadn’t left yet for some reason.

"You're so handsome without it " Ladiva said, resting her hand in her face and sighing while Seofon voiced his agreement in the background, "the eyepiece is fine but can't you go without the whole thing?"

Seofon gave an exaggerated sigh.

"I can't say I haven't tried to get him to throw it away entirely," Seofon said. Seox looked down at the mask. He'd never thought of himself as handsome, not that he spent a lot of time looking in the mirror to begin with.

However, Seox had always been weak to pressure from the people he liked, and if Ladiva wanted him to take it off inside Raduga he figured he could at least do what she wanted for the month.

He rested the mask on the counter. "Only while I'm in here then," he said quietly. Ladiva clapped her hands triumphantly, before returning to the kitchen.

Seox watched her go before turning his attention back to Seofon.

"Why are you still here?"

"Aww, you're so nice to everyone else but me," Seofon whined, but despite his words he looked genuinely pleased.

Seox frowned. "What are you smiling at?"

"This is starting to feel like an interrogation don’t ya think? I was just thinking that you've changed a bit is all. It's nice to see you getting along with other people." Seofon reached over and ruffled the hair between Seox's ears. Seox slapped his hand away.

"Cut it out," Seox warned.

Seofon laughed and raised his hands in surrender. "Alright, alright I can tell when I'm not wanted." He rose from the bar counter.

"Tell Ladiva thanks for me," he said as he walked off. Seox scowled as he watched him leave. Not a second passed before Sig, Herja and Ladiva crowded around Seox from all sides, effectively trapping him behind the counter.

"I never would've guessed it'd be Seofon, but it makes sense somehow," Ladiva said.

Sig nodded, smirking. “Seofon huh? It’s my first time seeing him in person. Never would’ve expected him to be your type. He’s kind of silly looking.”

"I'm jealous...I want to find love too," Herja said wistfully.

Seox didn't know how to respond, mostly because he had no clue what was being said to him.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

“You don’t have to pretend Seox,” Herja said, “You can’t hide anything from Ladiva. She’s a Love Guru after all.”

“Love Guru…” Seox repeated. If anything he was even more confused now.

Ladiva looked at him curiously. “Wait Herja. I think there’s a misunderstanding.”

Seox was starting to get a bit impatient now. “Misunderstanding about what?”

“About you and Seofon,” Ladiva said. “You’re together aren’t you?”

It took awhile for the words Ladiva had just uttered to sink in, but when they did, Seox nearly choked in shock.

“What kind of game are you playing at?” he said, flustered.

The three women before him looked just as shocked as Seox felt. The entire situation was starting to give him a headache.

“I don’t believe it,” Sig said, “He was watching you the entire time!”

“Yeah! And you let him ruffle your hair!” Herja added.

“I didn’t _let_ him do anything,” Seox said, blushing when he realised they’d seen that, “He was just being his usual irritating self.”

Ladiva didn’t say anything for a while as she watched the other three go back and forth about Seofon. Eventually though, she chimed in.

“Oh dear…alright you two,” she said to Sig and Herja, “Clearly we had it wrong. They’re probably just friends.”

“We’re not friends,” Seox said quietly.

“Yes yes,” Ladiva said, although she didn’t entirely look like she believed it. Seox could tell. Ladiva wasn’t one to lie, she was too sincere a person to do so. However, there was no way Seox wanted to continue this line of conversation, so he let Ladiva shoo the two women away.

She turned back to Seox when they left. “Remember, if there’s anything you want to talk about Seox, I’m here.” She winked at him.

Seox had a feeling she hadn’t dropped the topic. He sighed.

“We’ll see.”

 

 

 

To Seox’s dismay, Seofon returned to Raduga the next night. He could feel Ladiva's eyes on him, which he decided to ignore for the sake of his own sanity. He'd been put in charge of serving at the bar today too. As Seofon smiled at him he felt a sudden longing for the backroom.

"We meet again Seox!" Seofon said, "Two nights in a row. That's rare."

"You knew I'd be here."

Seofon laughed. "Well yeah, true, that's why I came."

Before Seox could think too hard about what Seofon meant by that, he was interrupted by a large sigh from some ways down the counter.

It was Leona. Judging by the way she was slumping against the counter, she clearly wasn't sober.

"How nice," she said, "Abel and I used to flirt like that all the time too." Cain, who was seated next to her, began to frantically shush her.

Seox briefly pondered the best means of escape so he could go hide in a hole somewhere.

Seofon watched Leona curiously, but said nothing.

"What's that about?" he said, chuckling. Seox ignored him.

“Are you going to order or not? I’m busy."

“Oh right, my bad,” Seofon said. He looked at Seox expectantly. “What would you recommend?”

Seox thought for a second about the question. “Usually Ladiva just makes what she thinks is right for people who don’t know what they want,” he said.

“Yeah? That’s funny. She told me to ask you.”

The urge to hold his head in his hands and disappear washed over Seox. Instead he said, “Figures she’d say that,” and walked off.

“Hey Seox? Where are you going?” Seofon called after him.

“Shut up and stay put.”

After a while Seox returned with the same dish Ladiva had made for him the first time he came, although he’d forgotten the name. _Al ajillo_ or something. He could care less.

Wordlessly he placed it in front of Seofon, who’d been obediently waiting where Seox had left him, swirling the ice in his glass with a straw.

“This is for me?” Seofon asked.  

Seox stared at him. “What a dumb question.”

“It’s been a while since I’ve had _gambas al ajillo_ ,” Seofon said. The way Seofon pronounced the name was very different to how Ladiva said it, almost as if he knew the language. He probably did. It was just another thing about Seofon that Seox didn’t care to find out. Honestly it didn’t surprise him. Seofon had been all over the skydom doing god knows what, so he was bound to have picked up a few things here and there.

“If that’s all then I’m leaving.”

“That’s a shame, I was hoping you’d stay and keep me company.”

Seox’s heart skipped a beat. There was probably no way Seofon actually wanted his company, he was probably just heckling Seox like usual. Seox briefly cursed the other’s for putting weird ideas in his head about Seofon being interested in him.

“I’m not here to fraternize with you,” he said, and made his escape before Seofon could respond. He figured it’d be alright to just head to the backroom for the night. The number of people at Raduga had been slowly dwindling as the night was drawing to a close, so surely Ladiva could manage on her own.

He spent the rest of the time until closing there convincing himself he wasn't running away.


	2. Chapter 2

For the next few nights Seofon showed up at Raduga. While he cited the food as his reason for visiting so much (at Seox’s questioning) Seox had the feeling that that wasn’t really the case. He was sure the man was visiting because Seox was there, which was technically what he had said the second time he had come but still. The only difference now was that Seox was actually starting to believe it. The first couple of times he'd left after he'd finished his food, although not before he'd fulfilled some sort of "fluster Seox with empty flirtations" quota Seox was sure he'd set for himself. The last few days though, he'd stuck around just to watch Seox work. Ladiva and everyone else of course had no problem with this, but it was making it hard for Seox to concentrate on his job. Seox found he had no idea how to deal with it.

Seofon was probably just happy to actually be in the same vicinity as another Eternal so often. Usually the others were busy on missions or flat out avoiding him, something Seofon took in stride most of the time. But now here he was, giving Seox his mostly undivided attention, striking up conversations with him despite Seox’s frequent monosyllabic replies. After trying to reason it out for a while, Seox accepted that he was probably just a last resort for company to Seofon.

That didn’t really sit well with Seox though, although he couldn’t really tell why. It’s not like he cared much about what Seofon thought of him, if the man even thought of him at all. Even if he did or didn’t it wouldn’t matter to Seox, but the idea that maybe Seofon was so desperate for company that he’d settle for harassing Seox just didn’t feel good.

“Seox… is everything alright?” Ladiva asked.

Seox looked up from the counter he’d been wiping, effectively removed from the thoughts he’d been going over in his head.

“Yes. Why?”

Ladiva looked at him curiously. “Well, you’ve been wiping the same spot for the past ten minutes.”

Seox looked down at the counter, embarrassed. Raduga had closed for the night, so it was just the two of them left to clean up, and with no distractions from work he’d had a lot of free time to just ruminate. He hadn’t realised he’d been zoning out.

“If there’s something on your mind you can always tell me y’know,” Ladiva continued. 

Seox looked at his hands.

Ladiva sighed. “Seox, I know you like your privacy but I want to help you in the same way you’re helping me,” she said earnestly.

Seox considered what she was saying, but wasn’t sure how to respond. This wasn’t like the usual cases where he wanted his privacy. In those moments he felt the weight of what he had to say was heavy enough to feel justified in never wanting to share with people. But this? This weird (not) flirtation with Seofon was just sheer idiocy. There was no reason for it to be getting under his skin.

He was used to Seofon being a jackass. That was territory he'd navigated in the past and was familiar with. He knew what to expect when Seofon tried to get a rise out of him. But when Seox snuck glances at Seofon during his work (making sure not to make eye contact because Seofon smiled and waved at him  _ every single time _ ), he found that the man seemed more reserved. He also seemed genuinely content to watch Seox bustle around Raduga for hours, which Seox could not understand at all. His leader's behaviour was throwing him for a real loop, and it was more than a little unnerving to say the least.

Was this worth discussing with Ladiva at all? He was sure the sheer embarrassment would kill him before he even got the chance to answer that question.

Ladiva seemed intent on pressing forward anyways, her ability to read people like books apparently giving her the go ahead that it was ok to do so.

"Is it about Seofon?" she asked.

"Absolutely not," Seox said immediately. He felt bad about lying as soon as the words left his mouth, even if it was obviously untrue to both himself and Ladiva. 

"Alright, yes it is, but we're not together," he tried. 

"Yes I know, but you have been out of sorts since his first visit," Ladiva said as she pulled up a chair and sat down. She patted the space next to her. Seox resigned himself to his fate. He should've known better than to think he'd get out of this.

"I hope that isn't our fault," Ladiva said, "I'm sure Sig and Herja meant well. They didn't mean to throw you off or make things awkward for you and Seofon."

“This isn't anything new. I usually can’t focus when he’s around,” Seox said, “because he says so much stupid crap.”

Ladiva looked surprised. "Stupid? What do you mean?"

"Things such as 'I enjoy your company' or 'I think you're handsome without your mask'. I don't understand it." 

There was a beat of silence before Ladiva started chuckling. 

"Sorry," she said, barely concealing the laughter in her voice, "I'm not making fun of you I promise." 

"I didn’t think you were. Why the laughter?"

"Oho~ Why indeed," Ladiva chuckled. “But I don’t think you need to worry so much.”

Seox regarded her with curiosity. 

“And why is that?”

Ladiva hummed. “It probably doesn’t seem like he means any of it to you, which is why you’re here moping.”

“I’m not moping. He chats incessantly when I try to work. He’s just lonely because the other Eternals aren’t around. If they were he’d leave me alone.”

Ladiva gave him a weird look.

“Is that what you really think?”

“Yes.”

Seox could tell that Ladiva was thinking carefully about how to proceed. “You’re not at all as unlikeable as you think you are,” she said.

Seox didn’t really know how Ladiva had reached whatever conclusion she had apparently arrived at to say that to him, but it had caught him off guard that was for sure.

“I don’t know if I agree. Seofon in particular, all I do is treat him harshly, and while it’s usually warranted I don’t see how he’d…”  _ Like me.  _ Seox didn’t finish his sentence.

Ladiva raised an eyebrow at him.

Seox sighed. Why was he discussing this again? “Never mind,” he said.

"If that's what you wish," Ladiva said. She looked only a little concerned, despite the confidence she’d been radiating earlier. Seox could kind of tell she was probably more concerned about him than she was about anything having to do with Seofon, but he’d already dropped the topic and wasn’t in the mood to return to it. Eventually, she got up from her seat. Seox followed, and after a short goodbye, retired to his room.

 

 

 

To say he got sleep that night would be a lie. Truthfully, this wasn't even the first time he'd been plagued with thoughts of Seofon before bed. In the past when he'd met up with the other Eternals they'd pointed out Seofon's apparent fondness for him, although the implications flew over Seox's head more often than not. He'd been more closed off then, not willing to entertain that sort of teasing at all, and why should he be? Seofon was a pain to deal with, and his poking and prodding at Seox for his own amusement had gotten old somewhat quickly. Of course now, Seox had become less prickly since joining the captain and living mostly on the Grandcypher, but while he’d gotten softer this had only encouraged Seofon to heckle him more. 

Looking back on it now, he realised that he wasn’t as annoyed as he probably should’ve been whenever Seofon chatted with him. Seofon usually backed off before he actually did anything too annoying. It annoyed him to think that Sig, Herja and Ladiva had figured out  _ his _ apparent soft spot for Seofon before he had, they barely knew him that well and yet they had read him so easily. It annoyed him even more to think that they could point it out to him after  _ one night _ of seeing them interact, but most of all because it was  _ Seofon _ of all people. 

Seox had been able to put all this chaos regarding Seofon entirely out of his mind since joining the Grandcypher, preoccupied with other things, so much so that he’d almost forgotten about how off-kilter the man made him feel until he’d suddenly reappeared out of nowhere to frequent Raduga of all places. 

It felt more like an old acquaintance returning than something new, thinking about Seofon for longer than was probably normal. 

_ I just tolerate him as the leader _ , he tried to reason with himself.  _ Nothing more than that. _

It felt like a lie. But even with Ladiva's assurances and the way things were now with the Grandcypher, he couldn't shake the whispers of uncertainty in his head. There was no way he had…  _ that _ kind of interest in Seofon, especially knowing that things wouldn’t work out, even if he wanted them to, which he definitely didn’t. Absolutely not.  
  


 

 

Seofon visited Raduga again the next day. There was no reason for him not to given the past few days, but Seox had held onto even a little hope that he’d be left alone for some peace and quiet. 

"Y'know I really like this place," Seofon said in between bites of his meal. Seox was at the counter again, instead of in the back. He wondered how Seofon always managed to show up when Ladiva requested he come out front. He half suspected it was some plot against him, but Ladiva wasn't that type of person. It probably just felt like the world was against him because Seofon was directly involved, and nothing more.

After a prolonged silence, during which Seox busied himself with wiping some glasses, Seofon fixed him with a childish pout. This was to be expected, Seox had ignored him and had pretty much every intention to continue doing so. A pout on a grown man in his late twenties was more pathetic than it was effective. However, Seox could feel his resolve crumbling away, and his heart stumbled a bit anyways, traitor that it was. He’d been told before by Vyrn that he was weak to pressure, but he didn’t remember it being this bad. A vague sense of dread at whatever Seofon was going to say next filled him.

"Aren't ya gonna ask why?" Seofon asked, seemingly oblivious to Seox’s inner turmoil.

"No."

"Whaaat, why not?"

"Because I don't care." Sure, Seox was battling with his feelings right now but that didn’t make Seofon any less irritating.  _ He’s irritating _ , Seox thought,  _ so act like it.  _

Seofon gently slammed his fist on the counter. Seox didn't flinch. "That's no good Seox! You ruined my entire plan. You were supposed to ask me why so I could say 'because you're here'."

The irritation swept over Seox in full force, mostly in reaction to how embarrassed he suddenly felt. Seofon must’ve had absolutely no shame if he could say things like that, but that was more than obvious considering his track record. The desire to put on his mask and abscond was overwhelming. He almost wished he hadn’t agreed to stop wearing it while here just to make Ladiva happy. If he could go back in time and stop that decision he would’ve.

“Stop that,” Seox said. He tried to be as apathetic as usual, but from the surprised look on Seofon’s face it was clear he had failed. Even he could tell he sounded on edge. He could hardly hear over his heart beating in his ears.

“Coming on too strong for ya?” Seofon asked carefully after a small pause. Seox frowned, another poor attempt at appearing more uncaring than he felt, considering how all his nerves were on edge. Trying to school his face into apathy was harder when he didn’t have a mask to hide behind.

“Everything you say is abrasive. I shouldn’t have to tell you this.” Not the harshest thing Seox had ever said to Seofon, but the atmosphere was different right now for a reason he couldn’t place. Nothing was out of the usual, Seofon was being flirtatious for no conceivable reason beyond being annoying, Seox was responding as coldly as always. And yet, Seox couldn’t shake the feeling that he was screwing everything up, despite the fact that he had technically not done anything wrong.

Seofon seemed to ponder Seox’s words for a while.

“If I’m not forward I’m not sure you’ll understand my meaning,” Seofon said airily. Now it was Seox’s turn to ponder. He had no idea what Seofon meant by that, despite the words themselves being straightforward enough.

“What?”

Seofon smiled at him, but it looked a little bit forced. “Nothing. I guess I just haven’t been taking the right approach with you, so it’s on me. I should say that maybe I’m not being serious enough about this.”

Now Seox was truly lost.

“Are you being vague on purpose?”

“Yes and no.”

Seox frowned at the response. “Well then stop it.”

Seofon nodded in agreement, which of course just added to the confusion. He was right to have been concerned about the direction this conversation would take. He shouldn’t have said anything.

After some more silence, Seofon’s only course of action after that was to smile at Seox every now and again whenever they made eye contact before he eventually finished his meal and left. As soon as he did, Seox felt his shoulders involuntarily relax. He hadn’t realised he’d been so tense the entire time.

He had no idea what had just happened for one thing, so he didn’t know why exactly he felt so on edge.

 

 

 

Later that night when Raduga had closed, Ladiva scurried over to him like a mother hen. 

“What happened Seox?” she asked, concern heavy in her voice.

“Nothing happened,” Seox said. 

Ladiva looked unconvinced. “You’ve been frowning all night. I think you actually managed to scare away one or two people before they even got a foot fully through the door.”

Seox sighed. “I apologise. I wasn’t aware of my expression.”

“I don’t care about that,” Ladiva said, “I’m more concerned about you. Are you in pain?”

“No.”

“Then what’s wrong?”

Seox knew that his mood had soured because of the conversation he’d had with Seofon earlier, but he wasn’t even sure what about it was bothering him. He just felt that somewhere he’d said the wrong things, and that in itself was annoying him because he didn’t know there were wrong things to say. Seofon didn’t even seem unsettled or upset, which Seox had taken to mean that he didn’t really care either way. That, above everything else, made Seox feel the worst.

“Seox, are you listening?” Ladiva asked. Seox had been brooding again without realising. He wondered vaguely if this was going to become a nightly routine, but instead of voicing that thought (he wasn’t really the type to make jokes) he decided to just relate his conversation with Seofon from earlier to Ladiva instead.

“I don’t know why I… feel like this,” Seox mumbled to Ladiva after he'd finished recounting the event.

Ladiva, however, looked like she wanted to give Seox a hug, and was doing everything in her power to restrain herself. It was a bit comforting, if not a little threatening.

“Ah, romance can be such a confusing thing," she said, her voice filled with emotion.

"Romance?"

"Yes romance! Oh my, how difficult all of this is. I don't think it's my place to tell you the 'meaning' behind Seofon's actions though. That's just something he'll have to tell you himself."

"There's no meaning," Seox insisted.

"Yes there is, you just can't see it. It's why you're so bothered about what happened, and why you don't like the thought that he doesn't care about you." 

Seox blushed. He had little to no experience with conversations like this, and having it laid before him like that was making him flustered. 

"I can't imagine that would feel good for anyone to feel like a last option. Even if it's someone like Seofon treating you that way."

"Now you're just being stubborn about it," Ladiva said, "Is it that hard for you to believe people care about you?" 

Seox paused. His fingers felt clammy. This wasn't something he ever really admitted out loud to people, or even something he acknowledged himself most days.

"Yes," he said finally. Quiet enough that he was sure Ladiva had to strain to hear him.

"Oh Seox," she said, "that simply isn't true. I'm sorry I can't help you believe otherwise right now." 

"It's my problem. But thank you."

Ladiva looked like she wanted to say more, but eventually she dropped it. The two sat there in silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO AGAIN... i got kind of caught up with a bunch of other things, but right now i'm on a small trip to a beach resort which filled me with enough energy to get this chapter out. i'll try to get the last one up by tonight >:o  
> i meant to have this finished originally for siete/seox day but it was my brother's graduation and i didn't have the time Q__Q 
> 
> i've been trying to take this less seriously instead of worrying about it being perfect, but hopefully it's something everyone enjoys anyways(?) thank you all for being patient :bowing: you can send me anon hate for being tardy over on [twitter](http://twitter.com/justiceisover)


	3. Chapter 3

Seofon didn't show up at Raduga the next day. 

At first, Seox didn't even realise, preoccupied with work. It took until Raduga was closing for Seox to notice something felt off about the entire night, as if he had been waiting for something that wouldn't come. 

He expected to feel relieved about it, but instead he felt unsettled. He'd gotten used to Seofon's appearances these past few days, and with his time working for Ladiva nearly up, there was no telling when he would actually see Seofon on such a regular basis again. The dip this realisation had made in his mood only served to upset him further. Why should he care about not getting to see Seofon? 

If Ladiva had noticed anything, she didn't say. Seox had appreciated the past few nights when she’d been trying to help him out, but he was also grateful for some time alone to think. Not that his thoughts really got past the same loop of the conversation they'd had yesterday. Had he somehow managed to do the unthinkable and piss off Seofon? Seofon? The guy was good-natured to a fault. Seox didn't know a lot of people personally, but he doubted he'd ever meet another person as easy-going as Seofon, and yet he'd still gone and annoyed him enough to actually start avoiding Seox. 

Seox almost wanted to turn to Ladiva and say "I told you so" in regards to being unlikeable, but the thought of that made him miserable, and he wasn't in the mood to pity himself. It was just how things were for him. He'd forgotten since joining the crew, but the reminder was like taking an ice cold bath. 

 

"Why are you staring?" Seox asked the girl before him. 

Phoebe looked down at her drink. It was a few days later. It had been days since Seofon's last visit to Raduga, and in order to take his mind off of it he'd started doing training with Ladiva more regularly. He occasionally sparred with Jamil, but that was in no way preparation for taking on Ladiva. Seox was powerful, possibly one of the most powerful Eternals and members of the Grandcypher's crew in raw strength alone, and yet he still felt like Ladiva could bench press him if she really wanted to. It was a good means of distraction in the moment, and working at Raduga definitely helped to keep him busy as well. The issue was every night before he went to sleep. He'd lie there unable to fall asleep, with his thoughts a jumbled mess. It must've showed on his face that he was tired. Maybe that was why Phoebe had been staring at him. 

"No reason…" she said. She and Morphe had been sitting quietly, more so than usual, by the bar while Seox worked. Usually they'd strike up conversation, but the pair seemed to be more content to sit there instead. 

He wondered if it had something to do with the other patrons in the bar. They were grouped up at the back, Seox could see Sig and Herja chatting animatedly with Lyra, Vyrn, and some other regulars. 

While he was a bit curious, he decided that it wasn't worth investigating. It had nothing to do with him anyways, and besides, he had other things on his mind. Like his imminent destruction at his own hands.

Stop being so dramatic, he told himself, you’re not a drama queen. While he battled with his inner thoughts, Phoebe continued to stare at him, albeit she was trying a bit more to be less obvious about it. Not that it mattered. Seox was trained to pick up on these things, his senses were naturally sharp, and Phoebe was by no means sneaky. It was almost endearing. 

"If you have something to say then say it," Seox said, not unkindly. 

Phoebe startled, clearly surprised at Seox's statement. Had she not expected him to realise or? Morphe smiled in a somewhat exasperated fashion, not unusual as he was always concerned about Phoebe. 

"She's just worried about you is all," Morphe said, intervening. "I am too." 

Seox sighed. He didn't want the kids worried about him. It'd taken all of his effort to get Lyria and Vyrn off his case earlier, and he knew for a fact that he hadn't convinced them at all that he was alright. The only reason they’d backed off was because Keehar had called them over.

"There's nothing to worry about," Seox said. 

Phoebe puffed out her cheeks. "That's not how it seemed in your dreams!" 

Seox blinked at her, while Morphe turned to her in horror. "Phoebe!" he said. 

Phoebe blushed, mortification clear on her face. 

"I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to look, but you seemed so tired recently so I...I," Phoebe said. She looked to be on the verge of tears. 

Seox had forgotten the two were primals to begin with, so he was more than a little taken aback at the admission that they’d been peeking into his head. However, he knew better than to be too upset at them. They were young after all, and were probably just trying to help.

"Just don't do it again," Seox said sighing, resigned somewhat. He tried not to think too hard about how his thoughts were now privy to two eleven year olds, lest he actually just dive headfirst off the ship. Worse things had happened.

Phoebe hung her head. "We just wanted to help." 

Morphe nodded. "Ladiva wouldn't tell us when we asked. She said it was an adult problem, and that we shouldn't poke our noses in." 

Seox winced at the term ‘adult problem’. "Why would she phrase it like that?" Seox grouched. 

Morphe looked like he was deep in thought. "I don't understand. If you like someone, you should tell them." 

Phoebe hit Morphe's shoulder lightly. "Don't say that!" 

Seox flushed. "This isn't something kids would understand," he said, exasperated.

Morphe giggled, while Phoebe blushed. 

"Seox," she said, "I know it was wrong of me but...good luck with your crush." 

"No dammit!" Seox said. He put his face in his hands and released a noise of frustration. "Why are you two even still awake?"

He chased the two of them out of the room, and returned to the bar only after they'd promised to go to sleep.

Resisting the urge to beat his head against a wall out of embarrassment, he tried to focus on the group of people still seated in the corner of the room. It looked like they were planning something, but when Seox turned to question Ladiva she wouldn't give him a straight answer. While odd, he was never really one to pry, and left it at that. 

 

 

There weren’t many days left until the end of the month, and before Seox knew it his time at Raduga was basically over. Jamil was scheduled to return tomorrow, his mission having gone well. Seox was in his room getting ready for his final shift. Seofon hadn’t shown up at all since then, and while he’d come to expect that now it still felt bad to still be moping around about it. Ladiva had stopped talking to him about it completely, too preoccupied with something she refused to share the details of, although Seox never really asked for them to begin with. It was more that she seemed so excited she had to stop herself from revealing it to him.

Suddenly, there was a knock on his door. In all seriousness, this was the first time in months someone had come to visit him, and his first thought was that an enemy had invaded the ship. After the knocking continued though, eventually starting to tap out what sounded like music, he dismissed the idea. 

When he opened the door it was the last person he'd expected to see. 

"What are you doing here?" Seox asked. Seofon gave him a sheepish smile. By some miracle, Seox managed to keep his face neutral, even though he sure as hell felt anything but.

"I’m running an errand of sorts. Can I come in?" 

Seox wordlessly stepped aside so Seofon could enter the room. Every single one of his instincts was telling him to just shut the door and escape out a window somewhere, but it was already too late.

For lack of anything better to do to buffer his nerves, Seox turned to shut the door behind him as Seofon stepped into the room. He didn’t turn around. 

“What do you want? Is it something urgent?” He hadn’t yet put on the top half of his uniform, and it was kind of awkward. All he was wearing were his pants and his mask.

“No, I just wanted to chat a bit,” Seofon said. He was looking up at the ceiling. "Why are you dressed like that?" 

"I was putting on my Raduga uniform." 

"I...see." Seofon cleared his throat. "Should I go uh, wait outside?" 

Seox stared at him. "No, there's no point in doing that. You're already in here." 

"Right, I'll just…" Seofon turned around. Seofon's behaviour having made the situation even more awkward for Seox was making Seox nervous, so he quickly put on his shirt. He tried not to think too hard about the fact that Seofon had been gone for a little over a week and had suddenly shown up out of nowhere. It wasn't even that unnatural for Seofon, or for any of the Eternals really.

Should he ask? Would it seem too much like he cared? His heart was beating in his ears.

Before he could stop himself, Seox asked, "Where were you?" 

Seofon turned around. "Hm? Is it safe now?" 

"Shut up. Where were you?" Were you avoiding me? is the unspoken question, but he was scared to ask that. In the past, before he’d even joined the Eternals, the answer was almost always yes. He knew Seofon was different, just like the captain and the others on the ship, but he had never been able to shake the fear that he'd be left alone again one day. 

Seofon looked confused at Seox's insistence to answer the question (him asking more than once on its own was unusual). 

"Captain had a mission for me," Seofon said carefully, "I've been gone all week. I just got back today actually. If I’d known you’d have missed me so much I would’ve told you." 

Seox decided that he would absolutely not tell Seofon what had transpired this past week re his inner emotional turmoil. He'd die of embarrassment first.

"I wanted to catch the last few days of your shift too,” Seofon whined, since Seox had remained silent. 

Seox stared at him. He didn’t really know what to say. The past few days he’d been on edge about driving Seofon away only for the idiot to have just been sent on a mission. The worst part was that this wasn’t even out of the ordinary. Seofon spent more time traversing the skydom than he actually did on the ship. If anything, it was a rarity Seox actually managed to see Seofon more than three times in a row in the same place. If Seox had been thinking rationally, he’d have figured this out on his own and moved on, but for some reason instead he’d immediately assumed the worst once it was even possible that Seofon had lost interest in him. 

Why did that even scare him so much? It scared him enough that he’d been having trouble sleeping, and at the same time had apparently been having dreams telling enough for two children to figure out something he clearly hadn’t. 

The answer was probably obvious. No, it definitely was obvious. He just didn’t want to admit it to himself. 

“Seox? Ya in there?” Seofon was snapping his fingers in front of Seox’s face. 

“Cut that out,” Seox said. 

“I was trying to bring you back from wherever it was you had gone just now. Something on your mind?”

“I think I need a drink,” Seox said. The weight of it all was crashing down on him now. He didn’t even want to look Seofon in the face, even with his mask on. Seofon looked shocked. 

“I didn’t know you liked alcohol,” he said.

“I don’t.” 

“If you say so. Well it’s just about time to be heading over to Raduga, shall I accompany you there?” Seofon said, as he pretended to look at an imaginary watch. 

“If I say no you’ll still do it," Seox said.

"You're right, but a gentleman always asks," Seofon smiled at him. Seox looked straight ahead as they walked down to the sub galley.

They walked in silence for most of the way until Seofon stopped Seox right before they went inside.

"You forgot the mask," Seofon said. 

"Oh, right." Seox slipped his mask off, leaving just the eyepiece. 

"Great!" Seofon held open the door and gestured inside. "After you." 

The lights weren't on yet Seox noted. Had Seofon brought him here early? Before he could even check the time himself the lights were suddenly switched on, and Seox was bombarded by a crowd of people.

"Surprise!" They yelled. Seox blinked in confusion. In the crowd Seox spotted most, if not all of Raduga's regular customers. Up front of course was Ladiva. 

He was confused. "What's all this about?" he asked. He had put two and two together by now that this was what Ladiva had been so excited about recently, and what the others had been doing in secret without him. He just wasn't sure why.

"It's a surprise party," Ladiva said as she walked over. "It's your last day here, so we all decided to do something special for you." 

Seox looked around. Raduga was more decorated than normal, and the atmosphere was definitely festive. What stood out the most was the sheer amount of food that Ladiva had cooked up. Seox didn't know what to say.

"I-," he started. His voice cracked. He put his mask back on.

"Thank you," he said. His shoulders were shaking with an emotion he couldn't quite place.

Vyrn flew over. "Not the mask again," he said. Before he could do anything though, Seofon placed a hand on Seox's shoulder and stepped in between them.

He wagged his finger at Vyrn, but turned to everyone else. "Let's get this show on the road everyone!" he said. Everyone cheered.

 

 

The first party Seox had ever been to that wasn't just Eternals, and it was for him. Funny how that worked. He was sitting with Ladiva by the bar, not really sure what to do as he watched everyone else. He'd taken the mask back off a little while. Vyrn had poked fun at him for crying, which he had vehemently denied, while everyone looked on and laughed.

Some people were dancing, a vast majority were eating and drinking, but Seox was content to just sit there. True to his earlier intentions, he was nursing a drink that Ladiva had whipped up for him at his request. It had been a while since his last time drinking though so he planned to keep it to a minimum.

"Thank you," he said again. He had to yell to be heard over the music that was playing.

"There's no need to thank me," Ladiva said. 

Seox scoffed. Ladiva smiled. "I'm serious. Sure I helped, but it wasn't my idea." 

Seox raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?" 

"A certain someone planned out everything and asked us for help. I'm sure you know who, although if he hadn't I would've done it myself to thank you. You've been a great help this past month. I wish it was more permanent. A lot of the others feel the same way." 

It was a lot to take in at once. It was a lot to know that his fears weren't true, and that the reality of it all was that he had made friends that liked him, cared for him even. 

"You've stumped me," Seox said, "I don't even know what to say besides thank you." He didn't address the implications of Seofon planning everything though, which Ladiva obviously noticed.

"How are things going with, you know…?" she asked. She looked over at Seofon. The man in question was showing off a sword to Cain and Keehar nearby.

"Horrible," Seox said. He took a sip from his drink. 

Ladiva looked worried. "Have you not talked at all? You came in together so I thought it had worked out." 

"That was a misunderstanding on my part" Seox said. "I just...panicked is all."

"So then what's the problem now? I won't have him ruining your night, even if he planned it," Ladiva said. She started to get up from the table.

"No, it's not like that," Seox said quickly when he realised Ladiva was being serious. "Things are horrible because I'm in love with an idiot." 

Ladiva clapped her hands. "You finally said it!" she said, dabbing a tear from her eye, "I'm so proud of you." 

Seox flushed. "Don't get used to it. I can hardly believe it myself. What a terrible thing I've just admitted, out loud no less." 

"Oh come now, this is wonderful not horrible."

"It sure doesn't feel that way," Seox said. 

Ladiva sighed. "We've made some progress at least. You don't need to be scared. If things don't work out, you can always come to me." 

Seox nodded then fiddled with the straw of his drink before downing it in one go, just to get rid of the butterflies in his stomach. It had taken a lot out of him just to say all that.

"You're a true friend Ladiva," he said. He smiled at her.

Ladiva's eyes filled with tears. "I'm so touched," she said. "Jamil will be here too again starting tomorrow, it's all so much." She blew her nose into a handkerchief before she continued. “You'd better come to Raduga every night.”

"I will," Seox said. 

 

 

Several hours into the night later, and Seox was more drunk than he had originally planned to be. Being the guest of honour meant that several people had stopped by to chat with him, and every time someone noticed his glass was finished they’d fill it up. He drank mostly out of politeness, but he really needed to work more on refusing when pushed, because by the time the party was starting to wrap up his head felt like it was flying off of his shoulders. No one wanted to stay up too late for fear of staying up all night to do the cleanup, so people had already started to clear things away. When Seox stood up to help however, he found he had very little control over his legs.

Before he could go toppling over, a pair of hands caught him by the arms and righted him.

"Careful now," Seofon said, because of course it was Seofon. It was always Seofon. 

"Thank you," Seox said. He hardly knew what it felt like to be so uncoordinated. 

"You've said that more times today than I can count," Seofon said.

"I don't mean for just now," Seox said, "I mean for the party." Were his words slurring? It felt like they were slurring. 

Seofon hadn't let go of his arms yet. It was incredibly distracting. "Are you drunk? You're kind of red, and between that and the fact that you haven't threatened to kill me yet, I figured there must be something else at play." 

Seox laughed. "Maybe there is."

Seofon watched him with a curious expression but said nothing. 

"I have to help everyone clean up," Seox said when Seofon didn’t respond. He tried to wrestle himself out of Seofon’s grip.

"I don’t know about that Seox, Ladiva asked me to take you back to your room." He sounded serious about it, but if the way he was smiling was any indication, he was clearly amused. 

“That can wait,” Seox said.

"No it can’t." Sig appeared out of nowhere. She slapped Seox on the back gently. "The guest of honour is free to leave." 

"That's right," Herja said, "We can take it from here Seox."

The sudden appearance of the two reeked with suspicion, and sure enough as Seox looked around for Ladiva, no doubt the third partner in crime, she winked at him. 

He sighed. No getting out of this one.

"Fine," he said. Ignoring the other two as they were obviously not on his side, he turned around and walked off, waving goodbye to a few people he passed on the way. He was still a bit wobbly on his feet, and while Seofon had let him go, he still hovered nearby with his arms out as if he was worried Seox would trip any moment. 

"Where to?" Seox asked. 

"Your room. Ladiva's orders, remember?" Seofon said.

Seox stared at him. "Oh right. Why are you coming?" 

Seofon smiled at him. "A poor leader I'd be if I didn't make sure my teammate got to his room safely." 

“I’m perfectly fine on my own,” Seox grumbled. Seofon wordlessly stepped closer to Seox and lightly shoved him. Right before Seox actually fell over from a push that he would’ve scoffed at had he been sober, Seofon grabbed his arm again.

He laughed when Seox glared. “What was that about being fine?”

“When this is over I’m killing you.”

“Sure but for now, just-,” Seofon started, then cut himself off to place his hands back on Seox’s arms and guide him back to his room. For whatever reason Seofon was being extremely clingy, and while Seox was starting to find it a bit annoying (he could take care of himself!) it was also nice in a way. When they finally got back, Seox opened the door and went straight for his bed. 

Wordlessly Seofon handed him some water from a flask he’d apparently pinched from Raduga. Aside from his stunt earlier he had been mostly silent on the way back, which was throwing Seox off. 

As much as he wanted to go to sleep since he was now feeling a bit tired, the realisation that he'd allowed Seofon back into his room at such a late time was keeping him awake. Seox had no frame of reference for this kind of situation. Was that rude? Suggestive? Completely normal among friends? Were they even friends? 

Seox groaned into his hands. What the fuck was he thinking? 

"Everything alright over there?" Seofon was leaning against the wall. 

"Yes," Seox said. Why didn’t Seofon just leave so he could stop feeling like he was about to burst out of his own skin? It’s not like he had to stick around now that he’d completed Ladiva’s request right?

"I’m here because I want to be, if that’s alright with you," Seofon said. 

Seox looked up from the flask. He’d been staring holes into it in-between sips in an attempt to sober up. “What?”

Seofon scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "I’m answering your question." 

Questio-? oh. Seox flushed. He hadn’t realised he’d been thinking out loud.

“Oh yeah. Yeah it’s alright.”

“Can I sit down?”

The only place to sit really was on the bed with Seox, since his room was one of the smaller ones and didn’t have a desk or anything of the sort. Seox stared at him.

Seofon stared back. “Never mind…?”

“No it’s alright,” Seox said, face still a bit red. 

Seofon walked over and sat down. “You’re a lot more docile like this huh?”

“Just like you to make me immediately regret a decision seconds after making it,” Seox sighed. Seofon raised his hands in a mock plea.

“I’ll be good I promise.”

Seox snorted. The entire situation was comical at best. He’d only just admitted to both himself and Ladiva that he was pretty much in love with the man sitting not even a foot’s distance away from him on his bed in his room in the middle of the night. He knew he wasn’t the type to say anything stupid while drunk, but this alone was already more courageous than he was used to being. He was pretty sure if it had been any other time he’d have kicked Seofon out by now. He probably wouldn’t even have breached the door, feelings be damned. 

Seofon himself was being kind of weird. He wasn’t talking a lot, which was strange enough to imply that there was something wrong. Seox very rarely caught Seofon when he wasn’t being obnoxious, and he didn’t really know how to react. Right now he seemed to be thinking deeply about something. 

“Seofon,” Seox said softly. 

“Yes?”

“What did you mean when you said you weren’t taking the right approach with me?”

Seofon folded his arms. “Before that, are you still drunk?”

“Not really. The water helped.”

“No one sobers up that fast.”

Seox placed the flask on a drawer by his bed and rolled over onto his side. “I’ll just sleep then. Good night.”

“Are you...are you sulking? Alright, you win,” Seofon said. “God do you even know how cute you’re being right now?”

Seox sat up. Again Seofon’s hands rose to shield himself. “Sorry, sorry. It’s the truth! Your ears have been flushed this entire time and everything.”

“Just answer the question.”

“I’m not really sure I want to,” he said. “Up until earlier I was convinced that things were going fine, but now I’m not so sure.”

“What do you mean?” 

Seofon looked at Seox. “Sorry to drop it so suddenly but are you in love with someone right now? I didn’t mean to eavesdrop but I overheard you talking to Ladiva about it. You were yelling a bit so it was hard not to.” 

At that admission Seox’s already nervous heart began to beat even more furiously in his chest. He could barely hear himself over his own heart beat when he asked “How much did you hear?”

“Just the tail end really.”

Seox exhaled in relief. He was pretty sure he hadn’t said Seofon’s name, and neither had Ladiva, so he was probably safe. He must’ve been if Seofon was now questioning him about it.

“Why do you care?” Seox asked carefully. His hands were sweating under the gloves that were part of his Raduga uniform.

“Why shouldn’t I?” Seofon said, but he didn’t seem very enthused. “Can’t help but be a little curious ya know? Anyone that could catch your eye must be the most interesting person in the entire skydom.”

Seox chuckled fondly. “Or the stupidest.”

Seofon’s expression had changed from unenthused to somewhat pained now. Suddenly, something in Seox's mind clicked into place.

“Are you gonna tell them?” Seofon asked. The question caught Seox off guard. Up until now he’d just figured that there was no point in ever confessing something like that. He had been frightened by the idea that Seofon would be disgusted if he ever found out, although definitely to a lesser extent than he’d been these past few days.

Now though, when he thought about it, he could see how oblivious he’d been the entire time. Ladiva had been right from the very first moment Seofon walked into Raduga. The way he was acting right now alone was an obvious sign that maybe Seofon wouldn't be as turned off to the idea as he'd originally thought.

“I think I will,” Seox said. 

Seofon nodded. “Right. I’ll cheer you on. That’s what a good leader would do. Which I am by the way before you say otherwise. Right. Ok.” He stood up and made his way over to the door.

“Where are you going?” 

“You probably don’t want me around for too long right?" Seofon laughed, but it didn't sound like his heart was in it.

"But I haven't told you yet," Seox said.

Seofon stopped.

"Told me what?"

Seox fidgeted with his gloves. "That I love you, idiot." 

There was a beat of silence where he refused to look up. The next thing Seox knew, he was being bowled over onto his back. Seofon was hovering above him, a look of genuine surprise on his face. 

"You're not kidding are you?" he said. 

"Do you know me as one to tell jokes?" Seox said. He turned his head slightly to the side to avoid making eye contact. 

"That's true," Seofon agreed. He was beaming down at Seox. 

Seox flushed. "Why are you on top of me?" 

"Heh, sorry. I've had a bit to drink myself," Seofon said. He started to lean up more, but before he could go all the way Seox reached out and held him firmly in place. 

"It's fine." 

"I must be dreaming," Seofon said. And then, "Oh, where are my manners? I'm sure you can probably tell by now but I love you too."

"Even so, verbal confirmation is nice. Less room to second guess." 

"I thought you'd get it if I flirted. I wasn't exactly being subtle." 

"Exactly how many people do you think have flirted with me in my life before you?" 

As they talked, their faces began to pull closer. Of this, Seox couldn't help but be extremely aware of, and he began to squirm a little. He felt incredibly vulnerable without his mask on. Not only was Seofon incredibly close, but he was looming directly over Seox, who was lying on his back. 

"Is this alright?" Seofin asked quietly. Seox could feel his breath on his face. He closed his eyes.

When Seofon kissed him, Seox thought that it wouldn't be possible for his face to get any redder. It was chaste, as if Seofon was testing the waters or something. Seox had nothing to compare it to, so it made almost no difference to him. 

Seofon pulled away and kissed his cheek. "You're so red." 

"Shut up." 

"Shutting up," Seofon said as he leaned back in.

Seox decided to meet him halfway. He wondered briefly if Seofon would care about his obvious lack of experience, but that worry was soon tossed aside when Seofon started smiling before their lips met again. 

When they pulled away a second time Seofon said, "Let me clear my head a bit." He leaned forward and rested his head against Seox's shoulder. 

Seox didn't really know what to do with his hands, so he decided to rest them on Seofon's back. It was...nice just lying there in the dark of the room together Seox decided. 

“I should be heading back to my room soon,” Seofon said. He sat up.

“Why?” Seox asked.

“Wouldn’t want to rush things.”

“I wouldn’t mind,” Seox said, but as he said it he looked to the side, embarrassed. It was uncharacteristically forward.

Even though he had said earlier that he should be leaving, Seofon hadn’t made any real attempts to move.

“You don’t have to for my sake,” he said. Seox hit him lightly over the head. 

“It’s not for your sake.”

Seofon stared down at him, surprised. “Oh yeah?

 

 

Seox wasn’t the type to care about the amount of experience he had in bed. The amount of space that sort of thing took up in his head was extremely small usually, within good reason. Now though, as he lay back against the headboard of his bed he couldn’t help but think about it. It probably didn’t matter to Seofon, no scratch that, it definitely didn’t matter, but if Seox was someone that could convince himself his worries were baseless he probably would’ve found himself in this situation with Seofon a lot sooner than he actually had. 

Seofon was sitting in front of him. He’d taken off most of his outer clothing and cape and unceremoniously dumped them on the floor by Seox’s bed, so he was sitting there in an undershirt and pants. 

“Are you going to keep that on?” he asked. He pointed towards his own eye, referring to the eyepiece Seox was wearing. 

“I don’t have to,” Seox said, but he hesitated to take it off all the same. 

“It’s fine if you don’t want to,” Seofon said, so Seox left it alone. He slowly reached his hands out stopping just short of Seox’s torso, only moving forward when Seox nodded.

Seofon’s hands were warm, and not nearly as clammy as Seox’s hands were in his gloves. Seox briefly wondered how much experience Seofon had in this particular area, and then decided that he didn’t care either way. He was already nervous. No point in thinking about anything unnecessary.

“It’d be easier if I took this off right?” Seox gestured to his shirt. Even though it was backless, the straps in the back made it somewhat difficult to maneuver under. 

“Actually I’d prefer you leave it on, for now anyways." 

When Seox raised an eyebrow at him Seofon shrugged. “What? It looks good on you.” 

Seox didn’t think he looked particularly special in his Raduga uniform of all things, but if it made Seofon happy he didn’t mind leaving it on. 

“How come you don’t wear backless clothing normally like other Erunes?” Seofon asked as he ran his hands up Seox’s sides. He looked incredibly distracted. Or maybe that was just how Seox felt. It was hard to pay attention to what Seofon was asking him when he was laser focused on the feeling of Seofon’s hands on his skin. 

“No ah- no reason.” Seox didn’t really know what to do with his own hands. Seofon must’ve noticed because he took them in his and placed them on his chest. 

“You can touch me too ya know,” he said. It sounded a bit like he was begging Seox to do it, rather than giving the okay. How long exactly has he wanted this, Seox wondered.

“Even if I did I wouldn’t really know what to do.” 

“Should I take the lead then?” Seofon waggled his eyebrows in a manner that Seox decided looked incredibly stupid. It was cute. Seox pulled at his face to get him to stop.

“Yes,” he said, and with that Seofon snaked a hand around to Seox’s hip and pushed him forward a bit more.

“Come into my lap a bit more,” he said. Seox did just that, and decided right away that the position was kind of embarrassing. He felt like it was toeing the line of how much he was equipped to deal with.

However, before he could say anything about it, Seofon had leaned in and kissed him again. This time was less innocent than the first few times, although why it felt that way Seox wasn’t sure. It wasn’t like he’d kissed anyone before. There was just something about the way Seofon was kissing him. He tried to copy what Seofon was doing, tilted his head more, moved his lips more, things like that. He doubted he was getting any better at it, but Seofon didn’t seem to mind if the way he was digging his fingers into Seox’s sides was any indication. 

One of Seofon’s hands came up to rest in Seox’s hair, scratching lightly at the base of his ear. The action made Seox gasp quietly and exhale sharply into Seofon’s mouth. He blushed. Seofon didn’t notice, too preoccupied with stroking his hands through Seox’s hair and kissing him. Or at least it seemed that way, that is, until Seox felt something hard prodding him from behind. The realisation of what it was made his face feel like it had just caught fire. 

There was no way Seofon hadn't noticed the way Seox tensed up. He pulled away. "Sorry about that," he said. He didn't seem embarrassed, but Seox was used to Seofon's bravado. 

"Don't be," Seox said, "I'm the same." Sure enough, Seox was hard too. Seofon responded by kissing him again.

Seox removed his hands from where he’d placed them back on Seofon’s chest and pulled his gloves off, doing his best not to break their kiss for too long. It was hard. He hadn’t quite gotten the hang of breathing right, and kept occasionally stopping to pant heavily. Seox was beginning to realise that while he was inexperienced Seofon really didn’t seem to care. In fact, it seemed like he was being riled up more by how heavily Seox was breathing. Whenever they broke away for air Seofon would immediately switch his focus to something else, stroking Seox’s face, hair or ears.

It was overwhelming, and to top it off Seox was nervous for what he was about to do once he’d realised Seofon’s...issue. But Seofon had said he could touch him too right? Seox was probably overthinking it. It was probably fine.

Having convinced himself of that, Seox reached down and gingerly began to palm Seofon through the front of his pants. This at least he was familiar with, although admittedly it’d been a while. It gained him an immediate response from Seofon, who groaned. 

“Can I do you too?” Seofon asked, somewhat breathlessly. 

“Why ask?” Seox said, equally as flustered. He felt lightheaded. Seofon chuckled a bit, and removed his hand from Seox’s hair to undo the front of Seox’s pants. 

Seox was definitely fully hard now, straining against his boxers. He’d been too preoccupied with Seofon’s hands all over him to deal with it, so Seofon's request was a blessing honestly. Now that they’d made it this far, he decided to return the favour by undoing Seofon’s pants too. 

It was difficult due to the positions they were in, Seox still nestled in Seofon’s lap, hardly any space between them. Eventually Seox managed to slide Seofon’s boxers down. He couldn’t help but stare. Seofon wasn’t much bigger than him, if at all, but it was kind of hard to believe that he’d managed to get the man so hot and bothered in the first place.

“Don’t stare so much,” Seofon said, “I’m already kind of riled up as it is.”

Seox didn’t say anything. Instead, he sat up on his knees and slid his pants down as far as they could go. 

“Now what,” Seox asked. He settled himself back in Seofon’s lap with a small grunt. Seofon’s hands were back on him immediately. 

“Well I was thinking we could jerk each other off,” Seofon said matter-of-factly. 

Seox could only stare at him, not really expecting such a blatant answer. 

“I-I see,” he said. 

Seofon coughed. “I don’t want to ask you this of your first time but-.” Seox hit his chest.

“Oof, careful. A tap from you could send me through the wall,” Seofon said.

“Just get to the point. I’m not delicate.”

Seofon pouted and pulled playfully at one of Seox’s ears. “What if I just want to treat you nicely.”

“Seofon,” Seox warned. He had to fight the smile off of his face so that he could retain even an ounce of the threatening tone he was trying to have. Seofon smiled back at him, but then his face shifted into something more serious. 

"Are you sure? We can stop here if you want," he said. 

Seox fully admitted to himself that it was nice that Seofon cared so much, but right now he wanted nothing more than to just deck the guy so he could take a hint. Instead, to illustrate his point, he took both himself and Seofon in his hand. The touch made him gasp a little. 

"I appreciate your concern for me," Seox said breathily, "but if you don't do something about this I will." 

Seofon flushed. "D-do you have any lotion?"

 

 

Seox did in fact have lotion. 

Seofon had explained to him, in possibly more detail than was necessary what he planned to do with it. It wasn't like going all the way, which Seox appreciated somewhat. Despite his insistence to get things going (he felt he was justified too, they'd been touching each other for long enough now) he still didn't think he was ready for too much.

"I still don't understand how this works," Seox said. 

Seofon rubbed Seox's thighs with the lotion as he explained again. Seox didn't think it was possible to get used to Seofon touching him, and this definitely wasn't helping. 

"To put it simply, I'm going to er, fuck your thighs." Seox covered his face a little just to reduce how flustered the phrasing made him feel.

"And that's supposed to feel good?" he asked.

"Hopefully yes, although we could also just go back to my initial plan." It didn't really feel like Seofon wanted to though, or at least, Seox felt that way. 

"No don't, this has gone on long enough," Seox said. He tried not to sound impatient but to no avail. 

Seofon chuckled. "Somebody's needy." He sounded pleased. "Didn't think you'd be so excited to have my di-" 

Seox held up his hand. "Finish that sentence and I will kill you." 

"It's hot when you threaten me," Seofon said instead. Seox sighed. 

"That's not much better." 

Seofon hummed and planted a kiss right on Seox's forehead.

"I refuse to be silenced," he said. He then dropped the lotion to the floor, right next to his clothes, and squeezed Seox's thighs closed. 

"Could you lay back more?" 

Seox did as he was told. Fisting his hand into the hair at the back of Seofon’s head for support, he guided himself onto his back. Although he'd been in a fairly similar position earlier that night, this was far different. The blood rushing to his face from being flustered (he was feeling a lot of that tonight) was making him feel lightheaded.

He almost didn't pick up on Seofon thrusting himself through Seox's thighs. Almost.

It was an odd sensation to say the least. Like this, Seox found that both his and Seofon's erections would rub against each other while Seofon thrusted. The friction was completely different to the times he'd jerked himself off before. It felt more desperate somehow too. Now that they'd actually gotten to this point, it was like they'd realised just how much they'd actually wanted to do this. It was overwhelming.

"Seofon," Seox started, but the man in question chose that moment for a particularly hard thrust, and Seox's words transformed into an almost obscene moan instead. 

Seofon kissed him to shut him up, open mouthed, licking into Seox's mouth in an equally obscene manner. When he pulled away, Seox brought a hand up to his mouth. 

"Was I being loud?" 

"Not at all!” Seofon groaned out, “I just...won't last long if you do that," he said. His movements had started to become more erratic. Seox flushed. 

"I-I, oh…" he trailed off. Why he was even attempting to be coherent while this was happening was beyond him. He wasn't sure he'd last too long either. The heat where Seofon was in between his thighs and the heat building in his lower body were almost too much for him. He hadn't let go of Seofon's hair throughout the entire ordeal, but it didn't seem like Seofon minded much if the way he too was moaning meant anything. 

"God," Seofon said. He sounded entirely out of breath. "Your face right now is killing me." 

"What?" Seox. He was hardly paying attention.

"I said you're unbelievably sexy." Seofon smiled.

Seox frowned. "Everything you, ah-,” Seox gasped, cut off as Seofon took Seox in his hand. Seofon smirked at him. Seox frowned harder and pulled hard on Seofon’s hair in retaliation. The resulting groan made every nerve in Seox’s body stand on edge. 

“Everything you say is horrible." 

Seofon laughed. “No stopping you huh?” Seox scoffed. “What was it you said earlier? ‘I refuse to be silenced?’”

Seofon didn’t even look put out that Seox was mocking him. Instead, he looked so fond that it put a fresh wave of butterflies in Seox’s stomach. It was getting to be too much now.

“I think I’m getting close,” Seox said, stifling back another noise with his fist. Seofon quickened his pace and jerked Seox off to completion, all the while thrusting into his thighs in an increasingly less uniform rhythm. Seox came with another stifled gasp all over his stomach. Through the pleasure addling his mind he briefly thought that it was lucky he wasn’t working at Raduga anymore. He doubted he’d be able to wear the uniform now without getting embarrassed. 

Seofon followed soon after, making a mess of both his and Seox’s thighs, panting heavily into Seox’s shoulder. Seox stroked the back of his neck, playing lightly with the hair there. No sooner had he finished had he started kissing Seox again. Seox entertained it for a while, but eventually he started to feel the mess on his stomach clamming up, even with his shirt on. 

“...Get off of me,” he said gently to Seofon, tapping him lightly on his back. Seofon rubbed his head into Seox’s shoulder. 

“Nooo,” he said. He gripped harder onto Seox and hunched in more. Seox was so far from being surprised that Seofon was a cuddler, that he started to wonder if Seofon had just slipped that bit of trivia into casual conversation in the past. It was cute, but he really was starting to feel kind of gross. 

He sat up, pushing Seofon off of him, picked Seofon up and deposited him gently back on the bed.

“I’ll get some towels,” Seox said. He looked through a shelf in his room for one. Seofon wasn’t saying anything from the bed, and suddenly Seox found it incredibly hard to turn back around. It wasn’t like he regretted anything that had just happened. In fact, he was feeling just as much elation as he was feeling sudden imminent dread that everything that he’d just done with Seofon the man would come to regret now that they’d settled down a bit.

“I kind of like how you manhandled me just now,” he said thoughtfully. Seox turned around. Seofon was looking back at him, lying on his side and watching Seox with a smile so fond Seox almost didn’t believe that it was being directed at him. Suddenly, he felt that he didn’t need to worry anymore. He threw a towel at Seofon, smacking him square in the face with it.

“Clean up,” he said. 

He cleaned himself up and then slid back into bed, dumping the towel on the floor. As he closed his eyes, he felt Seofon slowly wrap his arms around him, and the two of them drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LORD IT'S FINALLY DONE ;;;;;;;;;______;;;;;;;; you'll never believe what happened. i was genuinely on track to finish this thing (although the same night as chapter 2 was a lofty goal, i apologise) when i got roped into hanging out with my dad (father's day) and then my **wifi left for almost the entire week** bc god knows why, and i ended up not being able to finish until literally just now. i've been hacking away at this thing all week without references for certain things and i couldn't even access my google docs, but it's FINALLY FINISHED NOW..........WHEEZE
> 
> thank you everyone for being so patient... i look forward to getting back on the siete/seox hype train once 76 week comes around. i have all my prompts planned out and i'm very excited to draw them and look at what everyone else will do >:))) as always.. here is my [twitter](http://twitter.com/justiceisover) feel free to doxx me or whatever else comes to mind :bowing:

**Author's Note:**

> originally this was going to be just a oneshot, but i figured it might work better split into two (hopefully) parts. this is my first time writing both seox & seofon so sorry if i don't get them just right, but i had to do something because of how cute seox was in the no rain no rainbow event. here's my [twitter](http://twitter.com/justiceisover)


End file.
